I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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