My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
