Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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