my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
