I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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