Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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