Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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