is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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