dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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