Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
