I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
