You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize