Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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