Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
