sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
