I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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