just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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