Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
