So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
