im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
