hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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