She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
