im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize