I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
