so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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