you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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