butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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