I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
