I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
