I am puke
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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