I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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