I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
