College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
