Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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