I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
