Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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  (708): chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles http://tfl.nu/o4hh
  Replies (16) Good night (909) Bad night (1624)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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  (863): I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm. http://tfl.nu/3uu7
  Replies (27) Good night (2186) Bad night (705)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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  (803): I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for. http://tfl.nu/ljvy
  Replies (9) Good night (3814) Bad night (1230)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying

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  (603): Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying http://tfl.nu/e8oi
  Replies (10) Good night (7906) Bad night (961)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

  (718): View more from New York

  pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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  (203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them (718): pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed http://tfl.nu/7id4
  Replies (31) Good night (11593) Bad night (1291)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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  (609): My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count. http://tfl.nu/d5s2
  Replies (14) Good night (5176) Bad night (1608)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

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  (630): you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing http://tfl.nu/mpy9
  Replies (6) Good night (3019) Bad night (909)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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  (508): Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying. http://tfl.nu/h4eg
  Replies (7) Good night (6028) Bad night (1539)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.

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  (843): great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/cndy
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (858)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.

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  (240): We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/70u9
  Replies (3) Good night (2132) Bad night (1067)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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  (860): Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits http://tfl.nu/8x16
  Replies (8) Good night (1106) Bad night (681)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

  (716): View more from New York

  how?

  (585): View more from New York

  not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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  (585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616
  Replies (13) Good night (2137) Bad night (642)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he has this weird thing where he watches me pee

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  (864): he has this weird thing where he watches me pee http://tfl.nu/0a5f
  Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (1722)
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  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (408)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped

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  (806): Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped http://tfl.nu/37q2
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (346)

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