When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know