There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
