I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
