It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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