so that wasnt chicken after all
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
