the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
