RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize