; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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