I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When are your genitals available?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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