very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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