2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
