Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
