I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize