honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize