I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
