I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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