I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
