Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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