I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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