One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there was a trapeze. enough said
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
