Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
tell me about the eggs
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