Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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