There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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