So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
