your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
