I'm eating all of the evidence.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
