i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
