his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
