are you so shy because you have an std?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
