so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
