? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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