I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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