3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
