Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
